My Sparkling Misfortune (The Lakeland Knight) Read online

  Everything I had been through, everything I endured… all in vain.

  I sat on the rock, with my back to the orange-haired misfortune, not wishing to move. Ever.

  Some time passed, and he walked around to face me.

  “I have regained my strength,” he informed. “We can go now.”

  “Get out.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I said get out. Get lost. Leave me alone.”

  “For how long?”

  “Forever!!”

  “I am bound to you for six years. Have you got some kind of a memory problem?”

  Some other time, he’d get a good whack for such language, but at that moment I didn’t care.

  “I don’t want you. You can’t serve me, anyway.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because I’m a villain, if you haven’t yet figured it out.”

  “I have. So?”

  As little as anything in the world mattered now, that piqued my interest.

  “You mean you still want to?”

  “I promised. I gave you my word.”

  “And you would have no qualms about switching sides and helping me?”

  “Oh, I’m not switching sides, I will not help you in villainy. But I can still be of service, doing whatever harmless and good I can for you.”

  Ha! Big deal.

  “Like what? Shining my boots? I can hire a regular fellow for that, without ridiculous hair. Good bye.”

  “Well, whether you like it or not, I can’t leave just because you have changed your mind. I gave you my word, and our deal is sealed.”

  “I release you from it; consider yourself lucky. Now, get out of my sight before I change my mind again and make you shine my boots twenty four hours a day just for the fun of it.”

  And there it came. The growl.

  Have you ever tried treating apathy and depression with mortal danger? From my experience, I greatly recommend it. I was up and running in no time. Somehow, even though my life seemed to be over, I still did not want to meet those fangs or claws.

  Where was I running to, you might ask, keeping in mind that there were no white towers in the region? Good question. I thought about it as well, as soon as I regained some portion of my ability to think. And I had no answer.

  The monster had snuck up too close, even closer than he did the last time in the cave. He leapt after me, and his paw hit my shoulder, sending me flying through the air—upside down—back towards the lake—and against the big rock I was sitting on before. Yes, you can say “ouch” again.

  “Hold it right there, lizard! Leave that man alone.”

  I looked up. It was the sparkling. He stood between me and the monster, sword raised.

  The beast let out a louder growl and swung his paw at my unexpected defender. In the past, that had often been enough to make my bodyguards forget their duties, but the sparkling easily dodged the blow and responded with a series of quick strikes, forcing the beast to step back.

  “That was a warning,” he said, resuming his stance. “Now, go away, or I will use force for real.”

  I do not know what shocked me more: that he could fight the monster or that he was fighting it. Didn’t I just release him? Not that I had any objections, of course.

  The beast’s furious roar indicated that he was done playing, too. He threw himself at the sparkling with all his terrible might. The battle that followed defied description, all I could see through the cloud of sand were glimpses of paws, fangs, and flashes of orange sword and hair.

  I cannot say how long it lasted, but when the whirl suddenly stopped, I couldn’t believe what I saw: the beast was running away. The sparkling actually chased him off!...

  “What a bothersome creature. Look at that, he got me all covered with sand.” He dusted off his clothes. “That’s what I don’t like about this world: you always get dirty here… Well, Lord Arkus, do you still say that I’m only good for shining boots?”

  I sat up. My head was still spinning from hitting the rock.

  “No. And I have changed my mind, I am not releasing you.”

  I know. It was not nice of me, at all, after he saved my life—something nobody ever cared to do before. But what choice did I have? The monster tracked me down, I needed protection, and this fellow had just proved capable of giving it.

  “Remember,” I went on, “I said, get out before I change my mind? You didn’t. So you have lost your chance. Now you must serve your six years.”

  He crossed his arms.

  “Is this what I get for a thank you?”

  “Listen, I’m not trying to be mean here, I have little choice. I do need your help. That monster you chased away… He will be back. And I am in no condition to fight him.”

  “You mean, run from him.”

  “All right, yes, if you have to point it out. I can’t run from him. Tell you what: I’ll knock a year off. Let it be five years, not six. Just to show you that I am not lying.”

  “Five years of service and not six?”

  “Yes. You have my word.”

  I expected some comment about a villain’s word not being worth much, but he said nothing of that sort. He just looked at me with a strange, thoughtful expression, as if trying to evaluate something.

  “Very well. I am bound to you for five years.”

  I knew I was going to regret this stupid generosity, but, oh well. What’s done is done.

  “Well, are you going to help your injured master or will you stand there like a statue?!”

  He stepped closer and easily hauled me upright, offering his shoulder to lean on. I needed it.

  “Are you always so irritable?”

  “Yes! Get used to it.”

  “But there’s no need to get angry. You could have just said, ‘Help me up Tulip,’ and I would be happy to do it.”

  “I will give my orders the way I like. And one more thing: no servant of mine will be named Tulip. I will call you Jarvi.”

  “Why Jarvi?”

  Well… He didn’t need to know that. And neither do you.

  “Because that’s what I want.”

  ***

  I could barely walk. The sparkling saw that and offered to use his supernatural powers to take me home. “Home” was out of the question. I did not want to show up looking like this at the inn where I was staying, either, so I ordered him to find a safe place where I could recover.

  The sparkling let out a whistle, and in the next moment I found myself in a slowly rolling carriage. I suspect he also did something to make me fall asleep, because normally I wouldn’t be able to sleep after an encounter with the monster, especially such a bad one.

  I woke up in a small cave, lit by a campfire in the middle. I was lying on something soft and comfortable. The first thing I noticed after I tried to move was that my head no longer ached; however, the rest of my body was hurting all over, especially the shoulder.

  Jarvi was sitting on the ground, next to the fire, feeding it with dry twigs.

  “Good evening, Lord Arkus,” he greeted me. “How are you feeling?”

  “Strange…”

  “I healed your head injury. The rest will have to wait until tomorrow.”

  I see. He still wanted me to pay for catching him. Wasn’t it against the rules though?

  “I thought you had promised not to seek revenge.”

  “Who speaks of revenge?”

  “Isn’t that why you wish me to be in pain for another day?”

  “Of course not. It’s because I have used up my supernatural acts. You see, I am allowed only three a day: one bigger miracle and two small ones. The small ones can be used any time, the bigger one has to be reserved for a greater need.”

  I didn’t like that, but I supposed it fell under the “within the laws” part of our deal.

  “And what did you use them for?”

  “The big one to get you here; I had to conjure a carriage. Then the healing, and supper.”

  “Supper?”


  “Yes, but you slept too long, so I ate it.”

  “Oh, you—”

  “Just kidding!” He laughed, so happily that you’d think he just won half a kingdom. “You should see your face now, Lord Arkus. What a remarkable expression you’ve made. No, I didn’t touch your meal, here it is.”

  He stood up and offered me a tray with a steaming bowl of stew, bread, and a jug of milk. I didn’t realize how hungry I was, I had not eaten since the morning.

  “In the future, I would advise you to watch out for that ‘remarkable expression.’ My former lackey, Shork, knew it very well and wisely took it as a signal to dodge.”

  “Are you in the habit of hitting your servants?”

  “You bet. Now, shush and let me think.”

  As I ate, I went through all the new information. So he could heal; he could conjure things—carriage, food—probably anything. He wasn’t that useless, after all, even with the three miracles per day limit.

  “Can you conjure gold?”

  “I knew you’d ask. No. Not allowed.”

  Darn. That would have helped a lot.

  “How about a castle?”

  “I thought you said you’ve already got one.”

  “Yes, I do, but it is far away, and I cannot return there yet. I need a place to live. Unpretentious as I am, for a villain, this cave will not do.”

  “Where have you lived before coming to the lake?”

  “A cheap inn. But I am out of money.”

  “Very well, I will make you a house. Tomorrow.”

  “I said I want a castle.”

  “I heard that. There is no such need, and I cannot spend a big miracle on something not really needed. A house will suffice.”

  I wanted to smack him, but he wasn’t close enough.

  “Will you always contradict my orders?!”

  “Only when I must. I do not set the rules.”

  “Then who does??”

  “Don’t you know? Faradin, the king of all spirits.”

  That was a new one on me; the scribe hadn’t said anything about the king. It made sense though that spirits had one, and I couldn’t blame Jarvi for not wishing to mess with someone like that.

  “Tell me something, Lord Arkus. That lizard I chased away—I take it you’ve got some history with him? Why is he after you?”

  “None of your business. But, since you brought him up, can you kill him?”

  “Kill? Sparklings don’t do that, unless it happens in battle.”

  “I thought as much.”

  “Do not worry though, if he returns, as you say, and tries to attack, I will fight him off. But it would help if I knew what happened between you two.”

  “I said it’s none of your business! Are all sparklings so nosy?”

  “No. You’ve got the nosiest one.”

  I sighed. Just my luck.

  ***

  Jarvi kept his word. On the next day, first thing in the morning, I had a new house to move into—nothing special and definitely not a castle, but it would work as a temporary solution. He also healed my shoulder, as promised, spending the second miracle for the day. The third one, once again, went on food.

  As you see, I could live quite comfortably with him by my side, not having to worry about basic necessities, but, of course, I wanted far more than that. Therefore, wasting no time, I began to work on getting back in shape, in power, and, ultimately, accomplishing my revenge.

  I exercised with the sword for long hours, every day, by myself and with Jarvi who willingly agreed to help and in fact had too much fun with it. He was by far the best and the fastest swordsman I ever encountered, yet he’d give me a fair chance to deliver a decent blow, tumbling down with impossible shrieks whenever I managed to do it. I could see that he was holding back his strength to avoid hurting me. To him, it was just a game, but I was getting the best training of my life.

  The miracles were very handy. I used the small ones to obtain more armor, clothes, and other helpful things; bigger ones proved to be more of a challenge since I usually had to grapple with Jarvi about what was “really needed” and what wasn’t. It took me half a day, for example, to convince him that I needed a horse (I had sold mine during my journey here). The only thing he immediately agreed to use the big miracle for was making a white tower. That happened after I glanced out the window one morning and nearly had a heart attack upon seeing the monster who lay quietly under a tree, his red eyes fixed on the house door.

  “Jarvi!!” I yelled. “Come here! Is this how you ensure my safety?!”

  The sparkling did not share my concern.

  “Yes, I saw him. He is not doing anything bad, he just sits there, so I figured there’s no harm.”

  “No harm?! Get him out of here, now! And never let him come close!!”

  “All right, all right, I will go do that. I’m sorry, I didn’t know he was making you so nervous.”

  After such carelessness on his part, I naturally had to take measures. It was clear that the monster had been waiting for a moment when Jarvi would not be around, and I did not want to take such a risk, even though so far I had no reason to send the sparkling anywhere. I needed my home to be safe at any time. Later that day, I told Jarvi to build a white tower nearby. He was surprised, of course, and I suspect he’d read too much into it, but he didn’t question my order and fulfilled it right away. A couple of days later I decided to expand my safety zone and told him to make another tower a mile away. With that done, I was far more comfortable and able to concentrate fully on my preparation.

  In two weeks, I felt stronger than ever and, as much as I hated the very thought of it, ready to try again.

  “We will go to the lake tomorrow,” I told Jarvi.

  “To the lake? Why?”

  “So that I can capture a gormack, of course. Don’t worry: I know you can’t help me in this, and I am not asking you to. You will just follow me and watch out for the beast.”

  He looked puzzled.

  “Why do you still want a gormack? You’ve got me.”

  “Will you go to the kingdom of Dalvanna and bring me its prince in chains if I order you?”

  “No.”

  “Well, that answers your question. I need a servant who will.”

  The sparkling gave me a long, serious look. I didn’t like it.

  “I hate to disappoint you, Lord Arkus, but I am afraid I cannot allow it.”

  “You what?”

  “Trying to capture a gormack is very dangerous, far more than you know. I vowed to always act in your best interests. I cannot allow you to do this.”

  “And how do you think to stop me?”

  “That shouldn’t be hard. I am much stronger than you, as you are aware.”

  Oh yes, I was well aware of that, especially after our sword matches.

  “Don’t you dare…”

  “I am sorry, but I must.”

  I grabbed the first thing I got my hand on, which happened to be a piece of firewood, and hurled it at him. Jarvi ducked with one of his ridiculous shrieks, angering me even more—I wasn’t playing, I meant it!

  At the fourth piece thrown at him Jarvi flew up to the ceiling. That stunned me enough to pause: I didn’t know he could fly… Unless?...

  “Are you wasting a miracle on this?!”

  “What choice do I have? Look what you’re doing, you’re murderous!”

  ***

  Chapter 4

  Hard as it was, I had to give up on the gormack and accept the fact that I would not capture one, at least not in the next five years. After the insufferable sparkling had thwarted my third attempt, I began to think of yet another new plan.

  I needed to establish myself. I needed money, warriors, weapons, a well protected castle, at least a basic collection of poisons, and many other things a respectable villain must have at their disposal—none of which I could count on Jarvi for. That meant I had to take care of it myself, tricking him into any kind of help I could get out of him. And I would no
longer be so foolish as to tell him my plans.

  “Jarvi, I need to know more about this land,” I told him one morning. “It looks like I’ll have to live here for a while, and I need to decide what to do. Go, investigate, and bring me detailed information about the nearby kingdoms, their rulers, enemies, troubles—everything. Do it quick. Use up a miracle if you have to.”

  He looked at me with some suspicion, probably wondering what I was going to do in his absence.

  “Well, if I am allowed to use a miracle, I do not need to go anywhere. I can dive in the spiritual realm and find it all out in a second.”

  I had no problem with that.

  “Even better. Do it.”

  The sparkling lit up in bright orange and disappeared with the familiar loud crack. In a moment, the sound repeated, and he was back.

  “That was fast indeed,” I remarked. “Are you sure you got all I want?”

  “Of course.”

  Jarvi sat down on the floor in front of me, as he often did. His glow was fading.

  “The nearest kingdom is called Ulkaria,” he began. “We are right on its border. It is a peaceful and prosperous country, ruled by King Osmund.”

  “What is he like?”

  “Honest and just.”

  Good. I prefer to deal with honest folks, they are easier to manipulate, and you always know what to expect.

  “What has he got for an army?”

  “Six hundred swords, and a thousand more scattered around the borders.”

  Ouch. That was no trifle.

  “Is he himself a good warrior?”

  “He was, but he has not fought for many years.”

  “Would he stand against me?”

  The sparkling sighed.

  “No. You are much stronger, Lord Arkus.”

  Well, that was nice to hear, especially coming from him. Had this been a human, I would suspect him of flattery, but Jarvi spoke only the truth.

  “I’d never think I would say it, but there are some things I like about you, Jarvi.”

  He did not care for the compliment. There was deep sadness in his eyes as he looked at me.